ٌRemove dark spots and even skin tone

Arabic translation: يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:ٌRemove dark spots and even skin tone
Arabic translation:يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة
Entered by: Marwa Seleem

16:42 Jun 23, 2020
English to Arabic translations [PRO]
Medical - Cosmetics, Beauty / General
English term or phrase: ٌRemove dark spots and even skin tone
Instructions for the use of a beauty cream.
There's a picture of a young lady, applying the cream.
One half of her face has uneven tones. The half she is
applying the beauty product has even tone.
The focus is on the imperative verb "even".
I'll appreciate your suggestions.
Sami Khamou
Local time: 17:29
يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة
Explanation:
even here make it all the same tone
Selected response from:

Marwa Seleem
Saudi Arabia
Local time: 00:29
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +7يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة
Marwa Seleem
5 +1لإزالة البقع الداكنة ومعادلة لون البشرة
Fuad Yahya


Discussion entries: 7





  

Answers


2 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +7
ٌremove dark spots and even skin tone
يزيل البقع السوداء ويوحد لون البشرة


Explanation:
even here make it all the same tone

Marwa Seleem
Saudi Arabia
Local time: 00:29
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in ArabicArabic
PRO pts in category: 52
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Yosra Montasser
2 mins
  -> Thank you, Yosra!

agree  Fathy Shehatto
2 mins
  -> Thank you, Mr Fathy!

agree  Ahmed Gad El Rab
7 mins
  -> Thank you, really appreciate your support!

agree  Youssef Chabat: الداكنة بدل السوداء
7 mins
  ->  Thank you for your valuable addition, but most products use this term as in the middle east we already have relatively dark skin!

agree  mona elshazly: اعتقد البقع الداكنة أفضل.
31 mins
  -> Thank you for your valuable addition, but most products use this term as in the middle east we already have relatively dark skin!

agree  hoda ismail
16 hrs
  -> Thank you!

agree  Dalia Nour: الداكنة أفضل من السوداء
1 day 23 mins
  -> Thank you Dalia! seems like it's the most agreed and better to go with!
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

3 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5 peer agreement (net): +1
remove dark spots and even skin tone
لإزالة البقع الداكنة ومعادلة لون البشرة


Explanation:

To begin with, I want to address your specific query about the use of the imperative form in this sentence. I understand that you want to be faithful to the source text. Since the source text uses the imperative form, you want to do the same, but you are having some difficulty with that.

That is an excellent question. The way I see it, you don't really have to use the imperative form at all. In fact, I would suggest that you don't.

Your description of the layout is very helpful. I can almost see the picture. You characterized it as "instructions." There may be instructions on this page, but this particular sentence does not appear to be an instruction. The instructions would be what the user is expected to do when using the cream. The removal of the dark spots and the evening of the skin tone is not what the user does. It is what the cream does. It is the outcome of using the cream. This may be a title for the page and a way to introduce the instructions. It highlights what can be accomplished if the instructions are followed. In that sense, it serves as an indirect promotional statement for the product.

One wonders, why did they choose the imperative form for this particular sentence, considering that it is not, strictly speaking, an instruction? The answer is that this way of writing is part of copy writing dogma. Copywriters are taught to use what they call "strong sentences," which often means sentences that begin with direct verbs with no inflections. So instead of saying, "Removes dark spots," or "For removing dark spots," or "To remove dark spots" (which is what an uninitiated copywriter would write), they wrote, "Remove dark spots." They learn to do this in communications schools (my daughter has a degree in communications). This is so much part of the common copy writing practice in the English-speaking world that if they wrote it any other way, the editor would change it.

It just happens that we do not follow this practice in Arabic. Just because the English text uses the imperative form, the translator should not feel obliged to use the same form. What works in one language may not work equally well in another language. It would be perfectly OK to use a different form, like:

لإزالة البقع الداكنة ومعادلة لون البشرة

I am sure you grasp the meaning of the verb "to even" here. It is to make the skin tone closer to its natural appearance when the person was young(er), i.e., free of dark spots (like the ones I have) and other discolorations and blemishes. The skin is not supposed to be perfectly the same all over, like a plastic doll -- just evened out, or متعادلة.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 11 days (2020-07-05 06:13:14 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

The asker selected this answer was selected by mistake. I have asked both administrators to deselect this answer and make it possible for the answer of Marwa Seleem to receive the selection and the awarded points. I hope they succeed in correcting this error. If not, I ask perusers of this page to disregard the selection of this answer and to recognize the answer of Marwa Seleem as the correct answer.

Fuad Yahya
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in ArabicArabic, Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 12
Notes to answerer
Asker: Hi Fuad, Thank you for your extensive and informatively rich answer. I am glad you are back at Proz.com after a long absence. Your presence here will enrich the linguistic discussion. On further research I found out that "even" in this case is translated into "توحيد" in Arabic advertising materials.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  adel almergawy
1 hr
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)



Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.

You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs (or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.

KudoZ™ translation help

The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.


See also:
Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search