Glossary entry

Russian term or phrase:

по всей Земле идёт тревожный стон

English translation:

a groan of despair moves upon the face of the Earth/a cry of alarm rings the Earth

Added to glossary by sezon
Dec 23, 2016 21:24
7 yrs ago
Russian term

по всей Земле идёт тревожный стон

Russian to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature Poetry
Как правильно перевести фразу "по всей Земле идёт тревожный стон"?
The restless groan goes all round the Earth или как-то иначе?

Discussion

Frank Szmulowicz, Ph. D. Dec 25, 2016:
Oh, well - context is king. The continent is then North America.
sezon (asker) Dec 25, 2016:
По всей Земле идёт тревожный стон... Готов проснуться Йеллоустон (то есть Йеллоустонский вулкан).
El oso Dec 24, 2016:
Поддерживаю коллег Расширьте контекст, Аскер
beermatt Dec 23, 2016:
Hey, mate, Кто автор?
Произведение?
ето не машинный перевод, нам - людям нужны дополнительные информации!

Rachel Douglas Dec 23, 2016:
Context Give at least the whole stanza.
danya Dec 23, 2016:
чей стон-то? Матери-Сырой Земли? или угнетённого пролетариата?

Proposed translations

4 hrs
Selected

a groan of despair moves upon the face of the Earth/a cry of alarm rings the Earth

Whether стон is moan, groan or cry, and whether тревожный refers to alarm or even despair depends on the overall tone of the poem.

For example, in the translation of "Sea Fever" by John Masefield, "sea-gulls crying" is described as "чайки тревожный стон."

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.


Морская лихорадка
Опять меня тянет в море, и каждый пенный прибой
Морских валов, как древний зов, влечет меня за собой.
Мне нужен только ветреный день, в седых облаках небосклон,
Летящие брызги, и пены клочки, и чайки тревожный стон.
— Перевод С. Я. Маршака

ccccccccccccccc
The first variant harks to the biblical Genesis 1:3:
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."

In the second option, "rings" refers to the "ringing sound of an alarm bell" and to the action of ringing (going around, like a ring) the earth.
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Thank you very much, MacroJanus!"
33 mins

a disquieted moan makes the whole earth shiver

or a fearful moan makes the whole earth tremble
Peer comment(s):

neutral Susan Welsh : "Disquieted" doesn't make it; "shiver" sounds very odd. Your second translation is better, but I would say "frightful," not "fearful."
15 hrs
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6 hrs

an alarming moan can be heard all over the Earth

Not very poetic, but may well fit the rhyme.
Peer comment(s):

agree LilianNekipelov : absolutely.
3 hrs
Thank you very much!
disagree Susan Welsh : Literal translation "alarming" doesn't make it.
9 hrs
Thank you, Susan! I will be more careful with "alarming" next time.
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-1
12 hrs

A disturbing groan goes through the whole world

-
Peer comment(s):

disagree Susan Welsh : "Disturbing groan" sounds very awkward.
2 hrs
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1 day 21 hrs

Across the Earth there creeps an eerie moan - (see below for the next line)

По всей Земле идёт тревожный стон... Готов проснуться Йеллоустон

Well, if you'd said what it was in the first place...

Across the Earth there creeps an eerie moan -
Alarm! - For soon awakens Yellowstone.
Something went wrong...
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