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Glossary entry

French term or phrase:

Il empruntera

English translation:

He\'ll draw on (reserves)

Added to glossary by Gabrielle Weatherhead
Jan 15, 2011 23:04
13 yrs ago
French term

Il empruntera

French to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature
Whole sentence: Il empruntera pour d'épuisantes corvées, cette nuit encore, sur des réserves qu'il s'ignorait lui même.
It is a phrase from "Pilot de guerre" by A. de Saint-Exupery.


I can't quite grasp the meaning of this sentence, so any suggestions would be much appreciated.
Proposed translations (English)
3 +5 He'll draw on (reserves)
4 He will draw upon / He will call upon
3 +1 He will fall back on reserves of energy even he was unaware he had
4 He will rely on...
3 he will summon up/he will depend/rely on

Discussion

Gabrielle Weatherhead (asker) Jan 16, 2011:
@ Carol and Claude Many thanks for your invaluable input, it's been a great discussion. Sometimes it definitely helps to work in a team, as one can become blinded and very uncertain by reviewing the same passages over and over. Carol is right, literary translation especially can throw up so many difficulties and many potential translations, deciding is not easy! Thank you both!
Carol Gullidge Jan 16, 2011:
@ claude-andrew I like "unimagined" :)
Carol Gullidge Jan 16, 2011:
operations is infinitely better than "missions", and I'm not convinved that it loses much oomph! But I also wonder whether "sorties" doesn't convey the meaning just as accurately, but as you say, that depends on what they consist of. And I wonder whether "arduous/exhausting" wouldn't be an improvement on "gruelling"...

The problem with literary translation is that the tweaking can be endless, as, the closer you scrutinise the ST, the more you see that absolutely must be conveyed somehow or other to the TT!

Good luck with this!
Gabrielle Weatherhead (asker) Jan 16, 2011:
To Carol: Don't give up on the Oomph! You are quite right, and I actually like your tentative version. Not sure about 'missions' though, as from the novel it seems it's not missions but operations, or something like that, as the unit is preparing to relocate to another base, presumably involving a lot of time and effort. But if I were to use operations, it would most definitely take te oomph out of it!
claude-andrew Jan 16, 2011:
Without pretension ... I haven't the literary backgound of Carol, but what about a little assonance to add oomph - That night once more he was to draw on unimagined reserves for the exhausting work ahead - for example
Carol Gullidge Jan 16, 2011:
Don't give up on the Oomph! I think that's essential, no matter what - well almost!
In fact, your latest version, while sounding more punchy, strays further from the ST, notably with "despite fatigue, there are still draining chores waiting" - which I feel is an over-explication.

I'd try to find an alternative for "corvées", as neither duties nor chores really conveys the meaning here. I had thought of "missions", but think that also loses the emphasis, although it conveys the meaning better. Perhaps "arduous missions" or similar might do the trick? Ummm, not sure! But see gallagy's explanation for military duty/fatigue, which is the sense in this context.

And you're quite right about compensation in literary translation! There is of course "loss" in any translation, but we have to compensate in some other way to convey the feeling.

For what it's worth (and preparing myself to be shot down in flames!) I'd consider a tentative solution such as:
For that night's gruelling missions, he was to draw yet again on reserves that even he never knew he had.

This uses 2 optional illocutionary particles to add emphasis (yet, never) thereby somewhat sacrificing conciseness for added punch.
Gabrielle Weatherhead (asker) Jan 16, 2011:
follow the economical style of the ST By following the economical style too closely, I could not obtain the rythm of the ST, so from 16 Source words, i ended up with 21 words in the TT, but perhaps it's worth it. To quote Umberto Eco: 'It happens occasionally that, in order to avoid a possible loss, one says more than the original.'
Gabrielle Weatherhead (asker) Jan 16, 2011:
It seems to me that no matter how we translate this, the Ooomph will be taken out of it, becasue the ST has a musicality, a lyrical quality obtained with the lexical and phonetic play. In the TT it's difficult if not impossible to replicate this, partly because the English lang. doesn't work like that. Here's another attempt, perhaps making it less "woolly" :-) Curious what you guys think! -Tonight again, despite fatigue, there are still draining chores waiting; he will draw on reserves/strength he didn't even know he had. - it is important to translate the last part, as in a previous sentence it is described that the same man hasn't slept in 3 days, thus emphasizing his determination.
claude-andrew Jan 16, 2011:
I wonder if he didn't use "empruntera" simply to avoid a clumsy echo in "épuisante/puisera"
Carol Gullidge Jan 16, 2011:
on closer scrutiny @ MehdiCaps: sorry, I just realised (I think!) that you assumed I was commenting specifically on Gabrielle's tentative solution, whereas in fact it was a general reflection on how easy it would be to take the oomph out of the text.

Having said that, and with all due respect, I think that Gabrielle's tentative ending considerably loses the punchiness of the original, with the emphasis (in EN) now being transferred to the rather ineffectual (no offence meant, as I know this is only provisional!) "to carry out his exhausting duties" - it sort of "tails off"!
Carol Gullidge Jan 16, 2011:
@ MehdiCaps yes, I was really referring to the interpretation of the rest of the sentence. I don't think you could do much better than "... draw on..." for the term in question.
For the rest of the sentence, it's amazing how simply adding one word here and there can make it sound comparatively "woolly"!
Mehdi Caps Jan 16, 2011:
I agree with Carol, but I think it is hard to make it more concise than it is.

Il empruntera pour d'épuisantes corvées, cette nuit encore, sur des réserves qu'il s'ignorait lui même.
Tonight again he will draw on reserves he didn't even know he had, to carry out his exhausting duties.

One cannot put again after draw, there, because it would insist on the (slight) contradiction that exists in the French text between "cette nuit encore" and "des réserves qu'il s'ignorait lui même". He should know that he has those reserves, if he draws on them every night.
Carol Gullidge Jan 16, 2011:
follow the economical style of the ST If this is a professional translation - as opposed to merely a request for an explanation - then don't forget that the TT also needs to replicate the very concise style of the ST. So try to avoid elaborations that will make the TT unnecessarily longer than it absolutely needs to be - even by a couple of words!
Gabrielle Weatherhead (asker) Jan 16, 2011:
Oops :-) I must be tired! Thanks for pointing it out.
Mehdi Caps Jan 16, 2011:
"Cette nuit encore" means "Tonight again".
Gabrielle Weatherhead (asker) Jan 16, 2011:
Well, I've come up with this, considering all your suggestions. It might change if I get inspired later :-): This same night he will draw on reserves he didn't even know he had, to carry out his exhausting duties.
Mehdi Caps Jan 16, 2011:
There are two literary phrases in this sentence:
1) Saint-Exupéry voluntarily avoids the more common "puiser dans ses réserves" and uses "emprunter" instead, to create a more poetical expression which is possibly unique to this book, but the meaning is of course the same;
2) "qu'il s'ignorait lui même" is also a special way to say "qu'il ignorait posséder".

So the sentence was well understood below (he will draw [...] on reserves he was unaware he had), and the only challenge is to find an elegant phrasing. I think you can also be creative, like the author was when he chose "emprunter" over "puiser".

Proposed translations

+5
27 mins
Selected

He'll draw on (reserves)

Il empruntera...sur des réserves qu'il s'ignorait lui même.

I think that's the basic idea but someone may have a more elegant way of putting it
Note from asker:
Many thanks to all of you!
Peer comment(s):
agree Jennifer Levey : That's my reading too.
0 min
agree philgoddard
1 hr
agree Carol Gullidge : or, perhaps to get the tense right "he was to draw on" as this is something that happened in the past...
10 hrs
agree Alison Sabedoria (X)
20 hrs
agree Martin Cassell
1 day 58 mins
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Thanks a lot!"
32 mins

he will summon up/he will depend/rely on

my reading is that he's facing a long tiring night of duty (he's a war pilot, right?), military duty actually called "fatigue" in English so he's going to summon up reserves of energy he doesn't even know he has (or that he is unawar of).

hth

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Note added at 33 mins (2011-01-15 23:37:23 GMT)
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and now I see Richard had same idea!

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Note added at 33 mins (2011-01-15 23:38:17 GMT)
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and typo ...unaware
Note from asker:
Thank you!
Something went wrong...
3 hrs

He will draw upon / He will call upon

While "emprunter" literally means "to borrow," I feel that "call upon" or "draw upon" best befits an English poetic voice.
Note from asker:
Thank you!
Something went wrong...
+1
2 hrs

He will fall back on reserves of energy even he was unaware he had

I don't think that in English there is an elegant way of using the idea of "borrowing" or "drawing upon" in this context. I think the "borrowing" idea probably works in French in a different way it would in English in this case so an alternative expression needs to be used. Using "fall back on" does lose some of the nuance of the "borrowing" idea of "emprunter", but hopefully my target phrase suggestion still conveys the sense required for the purpose.

My example of Trotsky's quote (from www.brainyquote.com) shows how "to fall back on" collocates quite will with ones "reserves" in the context of human life.

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Note added at 3 hrs (2011-01-16 02:13:23 GMT)
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I have worded this wrong. My target text should have read "He will fall back......he was unaware he even had". (I had placed even in he wrong place).

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Note added at 3 hrs (2011-01-16 02:14:59 GMT)
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I used the word "even" here because it is a commonly used English expression that brings the focus nearer to "lui meme".

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Note added at 3 hrs (2011-01-16 02:31:55 GMT)
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Technically "Fall back on" is not a particularly literary phrase )as MehdiCaps has pointed out in his peer comment. However, as can be seen by the Trotsky's usage of the term in my example sentence, it still has a place and a function when used in a beautiful and powerful quote such as my example:

"The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only then do they have to fall back on their reserves." Leon Trotsky

Example sentence:

"The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People ......., for only then do they have to fall back on their reserves." Leon Trotsky

Reference:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:4brkiHEkE5gJ:www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/reserves.html+fall+back+on+reserves+-f

Note from asker:
Many thanks!
Peer comment(s):
agree Mehdi Caps : "Fall back" does not sound literary enough to me, and "even" is not necessary. That is a good effort, though. EDIT: OK with "even" in "he was unaware he even had". :)
32 mins
Sorry I have worded this wrong. Even should be placed such: ".. reserves of energy he was unaware he EVEN had" Even may be necessary as it copies emphasis in a way that a native English speaker would understand without altering source meaning & emphasis
Something went wrong...
4 hrs

He will rely on...

The English use of "rely" captures the sense of having a reservoir to "fall back on" or "draw out" of. He "will borrow" with the confidence that the reserves he needs exist.
Something went wrong...
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