| Număr de pagini: < [1 2 3] | Starting out with a baby - is it possible? Inițiatorul discuției: LizNickels
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NMR (X)
Franţa
Local time: 19:04
din franceză în olandeză
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| Yes - and no, there are surprises | Nov 12, 2008 |
Until my babies were one year old, there were no problems. But from 12 months on they were investigating everything - your house should be 100% childproof as said above. My eldest son just poured a bottle of olive oil on his head and in the kitchen and "tried to clean" all the shoes (and the floor carpet) with shoe polish.
My second one, by 2 1/2 years old, didn't sleep anymore in daytime. He went to school at 3 but all the children were sleeping there in the afternoon, and I had to keep h... See more Until my babies were one year old, there were no problems. But from 12 months on they were investigating everything - your house should be 100% childproof as said above. My eldest son just poured a bottle of olive oil on his head and in the kitchen and "tried to clean" all the shoes (and the floor carpet) with shoe polish.
My second one, by 2 1/2 years old, didn't sleep anymore in daytime. He went to school at 3 but all the children were sleeping there in the afternoon, and I had to keep him home after lunch. At 3 1/2 he took the computer and played his brother's games - this is something to be avoided, so I really had to slow down to take him out as often as possible, and to cook healthy meals for four persons. Don't overestimate yourself.
I lost several clients, one who couldn't have babies and who didn't like to phone me and to hear someone crying, and several others who thought that I was not serious anymore. ▲ Collapse
| | | | LizNickels
Regatul Unit
Local time: 18:04
din franceză în engleză
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI | Active babies... | Nov 12, 2008 |
My daughter is a wriggly girl already and quite big and wirey so I expect she will be a terror when she can crawl! I like very much JLL's suggestion of making the 'working after 5 pm' aspect a plus to clients. Also a playpen is definitely a good idea!
Another risk is to become a typical translator werewolf. You spend hours in front of the screen without uttering a word, and hours with the baby saying "goo, goo". At the end of the day, your eyes are red, you are unshaven, your hair is sticking up, your clothes are stained with coffee and various samples of organic baby by-products and it is hard to sustain a meaningful conversation, because your brain is half dead, and the conversational skills totally rusty. Certainly the best way to remain attractive to your partner.
Ha, and I was hoping that translation would sharpen my 'baby brain'!
| | | | Arnaud HERVE 
Franţa
Local time: 19:04
din engleză în franceză
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| Not possible | Nov 12, 2008 |
I wouldn't like to sound too pessimistic but I see two parameters against working in those conditions:
1) The unexpected. You may calculate that you can do this and that for a few hours and such. But that's when everything goes as expected. In real life there are often unexpected chores. You have to go to the doctor for your daughter or for yourself, you must have an appointment at the bank, your car to send to the garage, etc....
2) Concentration. Translating is someti... See more I wouldn't like to sound too pessimistic but I see two parameters against working in those conditions:
1) The unexpected. You may calculate that you can do this and that for a few hours and such. But that's when everything goes as expected. In real life there are often unexpected chores. You have to go to the doctor for your daughter or for yourself, you must have an appointment at the bank, your car to send to the garage, etc....
2) Concentration. Translating is sometimes tough. Sometimes you have to spend hour reading documents in order to understand what you are writing about. And you must deliver a perfect product. No spelling mistake, no forgotten paragraph...
And looking after the baby is tough too. There's no forgetting something either.
For my part I cannot work with children around. Any age. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Kathryn Litherland
Statele Unite
Local time: 13:04
Membru (2007)
din spaniolă în engleză
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| difficult to balance it all | Nov 13, 2008 |
I was parenting solo when my two were babies, which adds an extra level of challenge to the whole scenario. It was not really practical for me to get much work done without a babysitter when they were little. My son was always extremely alert and attention-needy, and didn't nap a lot. I don't think I was really able to get work done at home with them around until they were old enough to surf the internet
Since your ba... See more I was parenting solo when my two were babies, which adds an extra level of challenge to the whole scenario. It was not really practical for me to get much work done without a babysitter when they were little. My son was always extremely alert and attention-needy, and didn't nap a lot. I don't think I was really able to get work done at home with them around until they were old enough to surf the internet
Since your baby is 7 months old now and you're thinking about adding in work in a couple of months, probably the best way to look at it is this: if you want to squeeze 20 hours of work into your week, what 20 hours worth of things that currently occupy your time are you going to let go of?
Of course, you can transfer some of those duties to your husband, but that's just sliding the time deficit around. He's got to adjust by a similar measure.
It is, to a certain extent, possible to multitask. But that will only take you so far. It's important to be realistic about the importance of the things you may have to give up (relaxation time, sleep time, time alone with your husband, "quality time" with your child, housework, hobbies, etc.) and weigh that against the alternatives (part-time childcare, for example). ▲ Collapse
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Marleen Pieper
Local time: 19:04
Membru (2008)
din spaniolă în olandeză
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| Difference between "getting started" with a baby and "continuing your work" with a baby | Nov 14, 2008 |
One thing I would like to add to this thread is keeping in mind the difference between "getting started" with a baby and "continuing your work" with a baby.
I started studying translation when my oldest son was almost two. I had a regular job three days a week, was at home with my son two days a week and started studying (one nigth a week classes and the rest at home). This worked out very well; I studied most evenings and the two days which I spent at home I also studied during na... See more One thing I would like to add to this thread is keeping in mind the difference between "getting started" with a baby and "continuing your work" with a baby.
I started studying translation when my oldest son was almost two. I had a regular job three days a week, was at home with my son two days a week and started studying (one nigth a week classes and the rest at home). This worked out very well; I studied most evenings and the two days which I spent at home I also studied during nap times of my son. The advantage of an older kid (from 1 1/2 year onwards) is that they sleep once a day for a couple of hours (mine slept up to three hours) which gives you enough time to really get into some work as opposed to a baby who could be awake again after 45 minutes giving you no real working time. Also I did have help from my parents who would regularly take care of my son a whole day or even two days. It worked very well because I new exactly what I had to do every week, a fixed schedule which I could plan.
Now I´m in de process of "getting started" and find it a whole different ball game. I´ve finished my degree, moved to a different country. My son is almost seven and my daughter is 2 1/2. Both of them go to school and daycare center every day untill 2 o´clock, which potentially leaves me whith quite a bit of workingtime. But as you all know establishing yourself as a translator is costing lots of hours of work. Hours of work for which you don´t see any income. This makes it difficult for everybody to get started but in particular for parents with young children because time is something they have very little of.
I find myself accepting more and more non-translation work to make enough income during my free morning hours and therefor being able to spend less time establishing myself. If I would have a steady flow of translation work or during the time when I was studying a fixed schedule when work needs to be done I could juggle and plan it all much better, but all these hours spent on "establishing yourself" and not yet seeing enough income from it makes it hard to plan. For instance I find it much easier to ask people to babysit when I´ve got a paid job with a deadline then when I´m going to spend a couple of hours polishing my CV and profile, researching new clients or answering Kudoz questions.
The other thing is child care. As many people in this thread have advised it´s probably recomendable to look at some type of child care. I think the distinction between working time and time with the kids is very important. Keep them both separate and you´ll feel less stressed and enjoy them both better. I´ve felt working while my kid is awake a very hard thing to do. Concentration on your work can never be 100% while you have to keep a little eye on your child and care for your child is definitely no 100% while you´re buisy working. My son is six now and I can get a bit of work done with him doing something else. If I want to I could probably work all day with him doing something else but those type of days for him would turn out into days of watching too many movies and eating to much junk food just so Mummy can get her working time in. It´s definitely no quality time with your children!
Child care is a good thing. But you do need to generate enough income to be able to afford child care, which is a problem when your "establishing yourself" and your income is low. I´m lucky now because in my village here in Spain the day care centre is absurdly cheap but back in Amsterdam where I lived untill a year and a half ago, you really need to be working and getting a good income to be able to pay the day care centre.
I´ve accepted that the "getting established" period will take me a lot longer then when I wouldn´t have kids. I take little steps at the time working on my translation carreer and really want to enjoy the time with my kids too. Before you know it they don´t want to hang out with mummy and daddy anymore and I can go back to spending more time working! ▲ Collapse
| | | | Arnaud HERVE
Franţa
Local time: 19:04
din engleză în franceză
+ ...
I must say I am relieved to see many women here admitting that they use parents or hire nannies and the like.
On other forums there are women with their mother, three aunts and ten sisters available in the same town, enough money to hire twenty baby-sitters, a rich enough husband to accept only quarter-time translations jobs, a large silent home with room for everybody to work or sleep, a large car with enough gas to shop, go to the doctor and be back in an hour....
..... See more I must say I am relieved to see many women here admitting that they use parents or hire nannies and the like.
On other forums there are women with their mother, three aunts and ten sisters available in the same town, enough money to hire twenty baby-sitters, a rich enough husband to accept only quarter-time translations jobs, a large silent home with room for everybody to work or sleep, a large car with enough gas to shop, go to the doctor and be back in an hour....
... and yet such women write as if they did everything thanks to their sheer willpower, and talk to you as if it was some deep hidden personal flaw if you can't do the same. With phrases like "you must be dynamic" or "you must really want it" and the like...
It's a bit off-topic, but I heard recently a mother telling another mother: "Oh, your children are still at home? Mine became independent as soon as they were twenty! I would not stand seeing them at home..." and blah blah blah about personal strength, backbone and so on... And overhearing that I smiled because I knew that the mother who said that was paying a flat for each of her children in foreign cities....
At least that's one thing I learned in my life. There is no such thing like personal strength or virtue. Or if it exists it accounts for only 5% of your success. The important thing is the material means. And social means too, like connections...
Anyway, to make it shorter, if the question was "Can I make it alone?", I would answer No. If on the contrary you are helped in every aspect of your life, yes you can do it, you can even do more.
[Edited at 2008-11-15 10:07 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | juvera
Local time: 18:04
din engleză în maghiară
+ ...
| For your and their sake.... | Nov 18, 2008 |
Penelope Ausejo wrote:
(A little bit off topic) My kids don't sleep the whole night through. The oldest one is 3 and he already goes to school. He doesn't sleep either. So I have to wake up several times every night or stay in bed hearing babies cry forever. (I've got 3 babies).
When they wake up, try to spend only 2-3 minutes with them, no more, give them water, blanket, favourite cuddly toy, wipe nose or whatever, and then say; good night, it is sleep time, go to sleep. I am going to sleep as well, and I am not coming back until the morning.
And don't go back, not unless you think there is a genuine need, and again, only for a minute or two. Also, wait for a few minutes, before you go to them, they may settle back. They usually get used to the idea of not bothering to wake up.
There is one caution; if they sleep too much during the day, they don't necessarily need a full night sleep. So it may be worth shortening their naps a little. Yo can way up the situation better for yourself.
One thing is sure, if you let it continue as it is, they will continue waking up for years to come.
[Edited at 2008-11-18 01:00 GMT]
| | | | Nikki Graham
Regatul Unit
Local time: 18:04
din spaniolă în engleză
| Tough love approach | Nov 18, 2008 |
juvera wrote:
One thing is sure, if you let it continue as it is, they will continue waking up for years to come.
I fully agree with this. Before my child was born, I read somewhere not to make too much fuss of the feed(s) in the middle of the night, only to change nappies at that time if absolutely necessary, not to turn a light on if possible (but I did, just a table lamp, to see what I was doing) and not to smile and make it a cosy nice time. That way, babies soon get the idea that mummy doesn't want to be disturbed when it's dark and they stop doing it. My baby was sleeping through the night at about 5 weeks old. It certainly helped to make me feel more human and cope with the stresses during the day.
Now that I suffer from insomnia, sleep is vitally important to me and I really don't like being disturbed. I don't let my daughter climb into bed with me if she has had a bad dream, for example, but try instread to give her strategies to cope with the situation by herself.
When I was pregnant, a friend of mine was getting up countless times in the middle of the night to give her daughter back her dummy which had fallen on the floor. She was even thinking of setting up a camp bed in her child's room. Determined that this would never happen to me, I never let my child have a dummy, because fingers and thumbs are always available!
Anyway, Penelope, I hope you manage to get your children to all sleep through the night soon. I really sympathise, it must be very tough for you to cope.
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juvera
Local time: 18:04
din engleză în maghiară
+ ...
| Same here... | Nov 18, 2008 |
It works, if you are persistent and consistent.
My two were also sleeping reasonably by 6-7 weeks, one with thumb in mouth, the other without. He was also very active and demanding, and didn't sleep much during the day. But at least we all had a decent sleep during the night.
After the evening routine (by the time they could sit, we had dinner together and bedtime wasn't early) they were happy to go to bed, no fuss, nothing.
If you try to put them to bed at 7 or b... See more It works, if you are persistent and consistent.
My two were also sleeping reasonably by 6-7 weeks, one with thumb in mouth, the other without. He was also very active and demanding, and didn't sleep much during the day. But at least we all had a decent sleep during the night.
After the evening routine (by the time they could sit, we had dinner together and bedtime wasn't early) they were happy to go to bed, no fuss, nothing.
If you try to put them to bed at 7 or before in the evening, of course they wake up at 3 in the morning.
I think it is better to be with them in the evening, dad can be there too, than spend a miserable night jumping up several times.
Once when my elder was about two, he woke up, got as far as our bedroom door, and fell asleep in front of it. We found him there on the carpet in the morning, none the worse for it. That was about the only night-time adventure we had.
Penelope, wish you strenght to be successful. You need and deserve the night-time rest. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Nikki Graham
Regatul Unit
Local time: 18:04
din spaniolă în engleză
| Another agree | Nov 18, 2008 |
juvera wrote:
It works, if you are persistent and consistent.
...
If you try to put them to bed at 7 or before in the evening, of course they wake up at 3 in the morning.
I think it is better to be with them in the evening, dad can be there too, than spend a miserable night jumping up several times.
I can't understand people who put their children to bed at 6 p.m. and then complain they are woken up at 5 a.m. or earlier, but I guess we are all different. My daughter goes to bed at 8 or 8:30 (she's now 6) and gets up at around 7 - 7:30 in the morning. This suits me because I often have to work until the early hours to get my work done. This can, if necessary, give me around four or five hours to work whilst she's asleep and the house is quiet. If she is not tired, or is having problems getting to sleep, I let her read books in her bedroom, but she is not allowed to be downstairs. If I set my alarm for 6 a.m. to complete a project, I run the risk of waking everyone up and then I find it difficult to concentrate, so working late/getting up late is the best combination for me.
| | | | juvera
Local time: 18:04
din engleză în maghiară
+ ...
| Nikki, ditto | Nov 18, 2008 |
That was my regime too.
The only thing is, that mine are grown up now, and do what they like.
Not that it makes a lot of difference. They used to spend ages pushing model cars around intricate road layouts they created on the carpet, and now for relaxation they race each other using the latest car racing games. Boys will always be boys.
By the way, what is more relevant to the original subject: I foud it much easier to deal with two. Partly, because I was more experience... See more That was my regime too.
The only thing is, that mine are grown up now, and do what they like.
Not that it makes a lot of difference. They used to spend ages pushing model cars around intricate road layouts they created on the carpet, and now for relaxation they race each other using the latest car racing games. Boys will always be boys.
By the way, what is more relevant to the original subject: I foud it much easier to deal with two. Partly, because I was more experienced, partly because the second was calmer, lucky me. Also, having two boys very close in age, they played very well together most of the time, from the age the younger was capable of making car noises and pushing cars laying on his stomach. The problem of constantly keeping busy, entertaining the demanding one easened. ▲ Collapse
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